Blackout

I am sure every one of us experience blackout before. In our house, hostel, hotel(seldom) and maybe school or during classes. The thing is that, during blackout, most of us will just moaning and complaining about how hot it is, can't do our own work, can't go to the bathroom( well in my case, that is, as I am afraid of darkness). Yet, blackout is actually an opportunity for us to embrace Mother Nature.

Why??

When the air conditioner stop running, the fan stop spinning, the light went off... Our senses are more alert than they usually are. As it is so quiet, we can hear every single raindrop( if it is raining), we can hear every wind that pass by, we can see how bright the sky can be, filling with zillions of stars! It is though we are embrace by Mother Nature..

So, the next time that you are experiencing a blackout, think of it this way. Therefore, you won't have to be frustrated.

Home

"Another summer day,
Has come and gone away,
In Paris and Rome,
But I wanna go home.."

This lyric adapted by Michael Buble song, "Home" sings the heart of me..
When I am still staying in my house, I can't wait to get out and have freedom. Now, I just want to stay there forever as I know how important it is to me. How to define a home? What exactly is a place called home?? Is it a place to stay?
For me, a place where my whole family are is what I call a home, regardless how the place can be. I had learnt how comfortable a home can be, now that I am not staying there often anymore. It is though I had something missing in my heart. Such as a nearly complete jigsaw puzzle just missing a piece. That piece can make the whole puzzle incomplete. I had this feeling even though I am living somewhere better or maybe having a better life, without a real home, I don't feel my life is complete. Therefore, for those who are still in their homes, appreciate whoever is staying inside with you.



What is a home?
A place to sleep?
A place to rest?
Or a place where you have someone waiting for you to come back?
Hmm..

Waking up and seeing my siblings sleeping soundly beside me,
Finding my dad reading newspaper in the living room,
Seeing mum eating breakfast asking me to join her,
Hearing my siblings arguing over really silly stuff,
Helping my mum to do laundry,
Eating dinner with my whole family,
Talking about our day respectively...

Ahah!
I found it!
I know it!
This is a place I called HOME..

Lies..

You say you will give me the entire world,
You say you will give me every star that I can see,
You told me you will pluck every star and make a ring for me,
You told me that there are no other girls that caught your attention.
That was what you told me..
Lies.. Lies.. Lies..

You say you love my baking,
You say you love my eyes,
Especially when I look into yours,
You say that no matter what I do,
You will be there for me.
That was what you told me..
Lies.. Lies.. Lies..

I was naive to believe,
In everything you say to me.
I was foolish to hear,
Every sort of lies that you told me.
I was in La-La Land,
To realize that you are just playing with my feeling.

Well,
Now I have waken up!
When I saw your cold shoulder,
You turn away from me.
No longer be by my side,
As you only want something from me.
I was no fool,
Because I notice that.

You may think you can fool me with those flowery words,
BUT!
Too bad, you are wrong!
You are the kind of guy,
The kind of guy that I hate most,
When you get something already,
You will throw that something aside.

I hate you!
I put my feelings into you,
Sometimes even sacrifice my time,
Just to be with you.
Yet,
You treat me like rubbish!
This is what I told you!

I don't regret dumping you,
As now I think it is a wise thing to do.
You release me!
Phew!
Luckily I did not miss anything,
I did not lose anything.

Unlike you!
Hah!
You lose everything!
And I still don't regret doing so!
As by the end of the day,
You know the reason why I dumped you,
Because you are too psycho for me..

Misery

Every night,
I dreamt the same dream.
You,
Are always there.

So close yet so far away,
You are something that I can't ever reach.
So close yet so far away,
There you are,
Always appear with her.

I know,
That it is impossible.
Yet,
I want it to be true.
I want you to smile at me,
Like the way you smile at her.
I want you to look at me,
Like the way you look at her.
I want you to touch me,
Like the way you touch her.

Am I asking for too much?
Am I being greedy?
Am I not good enough for you?
Tell me..

Because of you,
I am dying.
I am fading away.
I am restless.

Please stop being so nice to me,
If you don't feel that way about me.
Because,
You are torturing me.

Please save me from this misery,
As I can't take it anymore.
Kill me quick!
I rather you kill me,
Than watching you with her.
Because it torture me like hell.
Save me by releasing me from this misery!

Far Away 遠くに

Yesterday, I took out my dad's long forgotten telescope for stargazing as the sky is filled with numerous stars.
We are so lucky that we got a glimpse of SATURN!!! Although it is so far away, yet we can still see it. This makes me think of something else date back to 2007, I think.
Pluto is officially drop from our solar system to an asteroid. Who are we to decide the fate of Pluto? This "planet" is older than everyone of us in Earth! It existed before any life forms are found in Earth. Why should human have the power to decide Pluto's fate as a planet? Don't you think it is quite unfair for it? Early astronomers had decided to put Pluto as the ninth planet of our solar system then so be it! Why should we change it? Just because it is smaller in size doesn't mean it is an asteroid, plus it has moons that orbit around it. Isn't that obvious??
For Pluto, you will always remain a planet in my heart because you are a planet for thousands of years, and you will always be one~

All Hail Pluto forever!すべてはプルートを永久に呼ぶ!

What If?何か。

What if I am Barack Obama?
Because if I am,
I may be able to change the world.

What if I am Angelina Jolie?
Because if I am,
I may be sitting back with the hunkiest man around me.

What if I am Osama bin Laden?
Because if I am,
I may be running away all over the world to save my own life.

What if I am a genius?
Because if I am,
I may be in Oxford or Cambridge now.

What if none of this matter,
Because..
What if there's no tomorrow?

* This is my first poem, so it is very amateur.

Happy~幸せ~

Yesterday I am so tense up about my SPM..
Today, I am so happy!! I woke up at 6am, as usual, to fetch my siblings to school.. Then, went back to sleep again.. At about 8.47am, I am awake as I need to follow my dad's car to school to GET MY RESULT!! I went to a Dim Sum restaurant for breakfast, BUT I am in no mood for dim sum!! I want to get my result and get back home!! FAST!!
I went to school at about 11am but I only got my result at 12.30pm!! When they announced that we can get our results, we went like bees!!! All of the science stream students went around the teachers to get our results. I manage to squeeze inside but still need to wait for my turn. One of my juniors caught a glimpse at my result but he don't want to tell me!! Make me so scared!! Then, when I saw my result, I am speechless...
All A1 except for Chinese which I got 3B and EST for 2A.. Oh my gosh!!!! WOW!!!! The first thing I do is to call my mum and tell her!! I am so excited!!!
Now, I am still so happy.. And SPEECHLESS!!! Although I am not the top student of my school, they say I got the most A1 in the entire school.. Much of my teachers say it's quite sad that because of my chinese, I can't be one of the top.. But who cares!! I am happy!! :P

Boring.. =.=

Before my easter break start, I am so excited that finally my turn for holiday had arrived!! But, I feel like I want to go back to college now.. I miss my friends so much!
I have so much housework to do at home. It's not that my mother force me to do it, but I want to ease her burden, so I decided to make use of myself. I help my dad to fetch my siblings to school as early as 6am!! My day is so tired, not to mention that I did not finish my homeworks!!
Well, what can I say?? This is what I should do as a daughter of this family.. Eldest daughter..

Accident..

Yesterday when I went to fetch my sisters and brothers from badminton lesson near my housing area, I'm involve in something that I never had before.
I saw a car going from an opposite lane, I thought to myself that this guy must be a foreigner as that lane is supposed to be the opposite direction. But it's none of mybusiness, so I just continue driving. Then, BAM!!!!! That moment, my head is empty and I just whisper 'SHOOT!' to myself. As I am hit in the junction, I can't stop and get down to see what my car had become. So, I decided to pull over after I cross the junction. Luckily, that driver did not run away. When I come down from my car, he kept apologizing and I didn't notice how bad my car was hit until I saw the door of my driver's seat. It was not in shape anymore and the colour had worn off! Wow!
He ask me what he should do, report to police or deal with it on our own. As the car does not belong to me, I told him to give me his phone number and I will call my dad to see how we should handle it. He kept asking whether I was shocked and whether or not I can drive, BUT I think he is more shock than me!
He is quite panic and I can totally see that from his face. I am a very unique person as these serious situation doesn't seem to make me panic. Hmmm... I doubt something must be wrong in my head. Then, I told him my dad will contact him and I decided to move on as my siblings are still waiting for me.
My dad called him yesterday and they meet up today. The repairing of my car is RM450!!! Wow! Though we are quite relieved that this man did not run away after he hit me. So, my dad is still satisfied when he decided to pay for the repairing.
The moral of the story is NEVER EVER get near a car when it is in the opposite lane!

Just like old times..( Part 2)

Next.. I want to introduce some of them that I see quite often as I have classes with them or not. Amanda is the one who always laugh for no reason and always find herself stuck in the wierdest situation, trust me.. You don't want to know! Shifa is a very clever girl who sit next to me in biology and math.. She is serious with her work and quiet. Jean, on the other hand, likes to sing and I had all my classes with her.. Sadly, she drop psychology and our english class had been reshuffled, so I won't be having the same class as her!! Aishah likes to sing too, and she actually compose her own song that she sing when she want something~ She likes to crash our chalet to find Illiany. Sometimes I even get shocked coz she suddenly sing when the time I'm not aware she is in Illiany's room. Su is a debater, and trust me, you don't want to mess with her. She will hit all the facts by using strong, powerful words at your face. You will be crying for your parents!! haha.. Adibah and Amira are Illiany's friends.. I can always find Adibah doing her laundry outside our chalet and Amira helping us to sweep our floor because she can't stand the dirtiness of our chalet!! Deena is one busy bunny.. She is our special task exco, therefore I seldom see her because she is often running around to run her errands. Losh is a very serious girl who study most of the time! She is so good in her study and I really envy her!! Kaiye is one happy bunny who always crash into people's chalet and play! She is happy go lucky and beautiful, this is the truth!! Sally is one fair girl.. She is quite shy, from what I notice but she is still cute, in her own way! Shar Linn is a scholar just like FY. She is very outgoing and she is not afraid to voice out how she feels!! Wow!! I also know other BN scholar such as Amy, Amalia, Amalina, Ili, Husna,OMG!! I can't remember their names!! Sorry!!! But, you guys are my friends!
Well, for guys.. I often see Iz because I have all my classes with him!! Seriously, and we are in the same house. That make us see each other quite often. Jaren is a guy who likes to piss me off and then have the satisfaction look. But, I think he is my friend. Hong and Sheldon is always seen with Jaren. Hong is a responsible person, hmm.. That's why he deserve to be the coordinator for CCC. Sheldon is unexpectably kinda like Jaren. He put his face as one of the simpson's character!! Hahaha.. Ben is a nice friend because me and Dal can actually introduce him to our plush toys!! And he wants to meet them! Now, that's something we didn't get to see everyday! Shawn is a guy who is very shy. I don't mean he is shy technically, but he gives me a feeling that he is a very shy person. Wei Shen is always seen with Ian. Ian is a sport guy who loves basketball while Wei Shen is very good in calligraphy. I am not very close to them as I don't see them often. This goes to Shen, our special task exco and a few others like syaz, emier, afiq, amani,razlan, arif, iskandar and a few more..
Well, I think that's it.. If you guys have anything to add, feel free to let me know. :)

Just like old times..( Part 1)

When I know that I won't be going the same route as most of my secondary peers are, I felt quite sad as I won't be hanging around with them anymore. I even doubt that I will ever find someone that are just as fun to hang around as them.
Now, I realise my worries seem ironic...
I have my new circle of friends who( don't kill me for saying this) are also as crazy as my old friends are!! Some of them are even more crazy than my secondary friends!! Let me introduce a few to you~
Ok.. First we have Dal THE GOTH! Sorry, Dal.. Just saying the truth.. Well, she happens to sleep opposite my room, which she called it "Dal's Highway Hotel". Her regular work includes stealing my chocolate from my room( well you can't blame her because I don't want to lock my room after locking myself out for 2 times!!), sleeping, annoying people, helping me to run away, accompany me wherever I go( so nice of her~) and a few more things like emoiing!! That's how her nickname comes from.
Then, we have FY THE TINKERBELL, who is sleeping next to my room.. Her regular work.. Hmm.. Math, math, math and more math.. Other than that, scaring my chalet mate by saying:"XX, I think I just saw 2 cockroaches went into your room!!" Well, one thing for sure, she can't scare me with bugs because I happen to be the pest control agent in my chalet( kill 1 gigantic cockroach and centipede last week)! Yet, she knows how to scare me with other things. She's very smart for a green eyed tinkerbell.. I love to annoy her with my loving relationship with Geetz and Anju~
My other chalet mate is bony Illiany.. Ok.. Her name seems wierd, but that's what she is... Super skinny!! BUT!! She eat alot! I envy her alot!! She is seldom at home, spending her time in RC or just dating with her girlfriend.. Even if she's in, she spend her time digging history books! So, her regular work includes eating, history,history and more history..
My other pals.. Let see.. Anju~ A very cute girl with huge eyes.. FY say they are scary, but I love her eyes!! Hear that, FY?? Geetz is my other darling.. I seldom see her as we don't have the same class.. BUT, I still love her~~ as much as I love Anju.. And for FY, we are not fake lovers!!
Well, this is only part 1.. I will continue in part 2!

First Impression( Tick of my new life)

Ok, ok.. I admit I will be exaggerating when I finish my first post, yet before I come to study in this college, I NEVER EVER leave my home without my parents!!! I am dependent towards my parents.. I don't even went to camp before.. Can you imagine??? That's why living in my college now is a whole new kind of experience for me..

*My friends.. Caught them off-guard! Haha..

The first time I step into this college, my thought was WHY is this place SO cut out from the community??? No mamak stall, no convenient store, no cars passing by, nothing!!! Just some abandon houses( maybe a few teachers living there), a golf course and my college!! I'm so shocked when I learnt that my dad is going to send me to this place!! Apart from that, I've heard that the people hear are all geniuses who get straight A's!! Me, I NEVER get straight A before.. So, will I survive?

Well, I am still alive now..

The induction week was held the first week we, the batch 11.5 came.. We had games, ice breaking and a few talks.. BUT, I am SO homesick that I did not enjoy myself that particular week.. I spent my time moaning and crying about how much I miss home.. Whereas, my chalet mate, Dal(Goth), had the time of her life.. I did not mix around, making new friends, and I can't even remember their faces, EVEN in my group!!( Which consist of Shen, Dal, Geetha,Amira,Azri,Sheldon, Ben and me) Sometimes, I just hate myself for being such a baby.. After that week, I start my classes, which I had found out a new problem.. I am having classes with geniuses.. I think I am the worst in my class, I don't know what the teachers are teaching, and I have to go RC everyday just to get understand what the teachers had taught. I felt so hopeless that time..

But those time passes.. Now, I am still having difficulties understanding, but I had friends to ask around. I managed to mix with people now!! YEAH!! I find that the students in the college is very friendly.. They smile at you whenever you pass by, and that makes my day happier..( I am quite stupid to think that way, but I do think like that) And I think I am being to live my own life now..

I love my life now. And I think I will enjoy my 18 months stay there!