君に届け Reaching you

やさしい日だまりに チャイムがディレイする
ほほをなでる風 息吹は深くなってく

遠まわりの涙 名前つけた明日
重なる未来色のライン

あどけないこんな気持ちも
はじけ飛ぶほど笑い合えた日も
大切に育てていけるように
とぎれとぎれの時を越えて
たくさんの初めてをくれた
つながってゆけ とどけ

放課後の夕闇 笑うきみの背中
ひそかなささやき 触れたことのない想いの中

僕の中のきみと きみの中の僕で
絡まる未来色のライン

雨上がりの街の匂いと
夢みたいな秘密を胸に抱いて
何度も泣きそうになってまた笑う
考えるよりずっとはやく
その胸に飛び込めたらいい
つながってゆけ とどけ

何よりも大事なきみの前で
傷つかないように大事にしてたのは そう自分
その一言がもしもサヨナラのかわりになってしまっても
ありのまま すべて

あどけないこんな気持ちも
はじけ飛ぶほど笑いあえた日も
大切に育てていけるように
ほんの少し大人になってく
君になりたい僕を超えて
つながってゆけ
今すぐきみに
とどけ

English Translation

In that gentle spot warmed by the sun, the chime is delayed The wind brushing my cheeks turns into my deep breath

Roundabout tears, the tomorrow we named Are all overlapping future-colored lines
These childish feelings
The days we laughed together happily
I hope we come to treasure them
You surpassed this disconnected time
And gave me lots of firsts
I'll connect them to you, I'll reach you

The after school sunset, your back, as you're laughing
Secret whispers, inside these untouched feelings
The you inside of me, and the me inside of you
Are all interweaving future-colored lines

The smell of the town after the rain
And the dream-like secret I hold in my heart
So many times I've felt like crying, but then laughed instead
Rather than thinking about it, hurry up
It's fine if you just fly into my heart
To connect to you, to reach you
In front of you, cherished more than anyone
is someone who cherishes you so that you won't get hurt, that's right, it's me
Even if your words somehow become "goodbye" instead
Everything will be as it is

These childish feelings
The days we laughed together happily
I hope we come to treasure them
I'll  become just a little grown up
Surpassing the me that wants to be just like you
To connect to you
Right now
to reach you

Brand new start

So, the day came. Yes, where I have to get my bum out of the house and start my brand new life in Semenyih. I managed to adapt that place much faster than during KY. Quite shocked at myself too.

Anyway, initially I do feel homesick and I don't feel like going, but I manage to do that. ( a pat on the back ) My first week was filled with fun. I had a 2 days orientation organized by the pharmacy society, also known as PharmNotts. The seniors are very nice and I did make new friends :D I changed my way on approaching people. Being outgoing and confident do help a lot.

Classes started pretty soon and the course is NOT EASY! Quite tedious actually. There I was, after A levels thinking yes! I won't have to face much of biology anymore. But how wrong I am! Having classes of physiology and pharmacology. I even learn some of physics and some of statistics. Which is not what I expected. Dispensing classes are really fun, except for our super thick labcoat and my goggles keep getting water vapour blurring my vision. By the 3rd week, I had put my hands in making my 1st 2 products, Oral rehydration salt and Ammonia and Ipecaucuanha Mixture BP 1993 which basically is a cough syrup. LOL

My hall of residence requires me to walk about 10 mins to get to my building, plenty of exercise which is not a bad thing either. I started to drive to my university from my home recently, due to the presence of LEKAS highway :D it takes about 35 mins from my place so finally I got the green light to go on highway!

Brand new start, brand new ME! This will be my second home for the next 2 years. Then I am off to UK :)

Lollipops

I am missing my lollipops already :'(

Quite unexpected.. Thought that I am prepared for this.

You :D

Comical and frisky

Need more to say? :D

Soul-brother

He's very emotional. Indecisive and like to play little 'games' with you. Sometimes when he get on my nerve, I would think.. Why am I best friends with him again?

Oh! I know why! Because he is the one that would always take my side and support me, brighten up my day with his ridiculous jokes and respect that I need some private space. Yup, that's him :)

There are terms like soul mate and I believe this person is my soul brother. If this kinda thing actually exist! During my school days, many people thought that we are an item. Even now, according to him some of his friends thought that he had a knock on me. However, we have surpass that stage long time ago. Most of my school days, he's seen around me all the time. We sit together in most of our science lab session. Of course, we do fight. You see, I don't like being offered many options. Him, being so indecisive always makes my head go round and round. That's our major source of a fight. Yet, we always make up to each other the very next day. Or else, both of us would be bored to death. I would say talking to him is my main source of entertainment at school. I still remembered, he used to stay back after school just to accompany as I need to wait for my sister due to her POL classes. That's very nice of him.

After graduating, I thought that our friendship would gradually fade. Yet, he always make plans to meet up with our whole gang. And, I am really grateful for that.

Anyway, I just want to say. Kar Ming, thanks for walking into my life. You are one of the very best friend that I would want to keep for the rest of my life :) (Happy now??)

Things come when you least expect them to

September has arrived.

Looking back, when I was still super homesick this January, my mum was telling me:" After sitting for you A levels, you really need to think what you want in life and whether you do want to go UK or not. Since is so far away and there's no way you can come back home frequently." Other than worrying about if I could meet the requirement for my university, I am still uncertain about whether or not I should just pursue my course locally. Safe money and I can come home frequently. I even thought of going to local university such as USM to do my degree, though my dad gave me a big NO. I was thinking maybe I should just go Australia instead. It's nearer and cheaper. Plus, Monash University offers a full 4 years course to be done locally. I was so sure about going to Monash that time, until I nearly don't want to fill in my application form for University of Nottingham.

That time, I was thinking to myself. ' Aiya, apply no harm what.. Can get in that time only decide lar..' Then, came the interview for a place in Nottingham, which I had passed. At that time when I've gotten my conditional offer, I told my mum, 'Well I've gotten it and daddy was really happy.But I wanna keep my option open.'

Yet, *poof* I had been making a lot of choices without me realizing it. Subconsciously, I had filled in my accommodation form, submitted it and confirmed a place. Then came all those form... Now here I am, going to this university by this month.

This is how they say, things will go naturally when you least expect them to. It's true in many way. For example, I had never thought of going to study in one of the top-notch university when I was still fooling around in secondary school. Nor do I expect to meet someone special during the start of my college life where I thought every guy looks super smart and is in love with nothing but their books.(which I am wrong. They are normal, trust me) Like what they say, things will come to you when you let it be. The more you force it, the more it drift away.

Cheers :)

In growing up

When I was still in secondary school, hearing my cousins having someone special during that time will make everybody who are older telling that person :" Just be friends first and focus on your study. Those things can wait."

However, when you are now stepping to university. The question now is completely opposite. People will start asking :" Got boyfriend already ar?" Then, those who graduated would be asked :" When wanna get married?" And the thing goes on. Those who are in their 30s would be asked :" When wanna have children?"

It's so strange. Just few years difference and yet..

The topics between the older and younger generation changed the minute you stepped out of high school. They start asking you about what you want in life? When do you want to plan you life for the next 10 years? However, for me, we are just mere late teens who are still trying to figure about what we want to achieve in life. Yes, of course if we have a plan it would be nice. In my case, I haven't really figure what I want in life. Maybe today I think I want a successful career, but tomorrow I might want a simple and happy life. This things are still uncertain and might change. Easy example, I told my parents before. If I am lucky enough to find someone special in life, then I might want to settle down after working for few years and open a pharmacy myself. However, if I just don't happen to meet that 'special' someone, well.. No big deal. I can work in big pharmaceutical company and travel around the world. Either way, I win!

So, I personally don't think hurrying to grow up will help in the long run. Then again, it's just my personal opinion.

Me mumbling...

Time flies. It's August already, half a year had passed.

My cousin, MT had graduated from MMU in last 2 week. So, happy convo~ Found out that he FINALLY proposed to his girlfriend. LOL( The word Finally intended) Congratulation on getting engaged! After that happened, it caught me thinking. Wow, few years back, we are still playing around like kids, snapping crazy pictures during festivals and gatherings. And now, getting engaged? Time really flies.

I've gotten my A levels result. It wasn't what I expected but it is a pleasant surprise. So, no regrets.. Just a hint of disappointment, I guess. I met my requirement for my university choice and will be starting university in a month's time.

My KY friends will be going UK. Gonna miss you all! Have fun there and I'll meet you guys in 2 years time :)

No-ble gas

I am noble gas. It started as a joke on my best friend's facebook page. Then again, when I think of it, it's actually true.

Well, the obvious reason being a noble gas is that they are inert. They are unaffected by surrounding, unlike elements such as sodium which are highly reactive. That's true. I am who I am. People who know me might think that I am different, in aspect of my habits, thinking and even my interest. Yet, I am not affected by what they want me to be, because I am who I am!

Secondly, noble gases are stable. That's also what I am. Unemotional most of the time, or like what my sister like to define me.. A rock. I don't use to be like that, but things happened and I think by not being so emotional is actually good. You don't get hurt!

Well, I don't mind being a noble gas, because I am noble:P

Reminiscence

I still remembered during my high school days, I would spend the entire school hours chatting with my best friends about all sorts of jokes. Outsiders might not find it funny but well, I always end up with a tummy ache after school hours. No joke, they really brighten up my school life.

Last Sunday, I came across my long hidden Nilam book because my sister was using it. Then, I found out something. This particular book was created by my best friend, K.

Book name: God bless America!

Author: Jane Austen(Okay...)

Publisher: Disney Pictures

And the synopsis is really speechless..

Synopsis: For reason unknown, there was an unscrupulous creature who invaded to the city of America. It destroyed everything along its path and left none alive. Action and battle were taken to take this creature down.

Moral of the story: Do not feed animals without following the rules in the zoo.

Seriously???!!!! It's the joke of the year for me! He wrote the everything in my book!

Another is one that I wrote which he used to laugh all day.

Book name: The world's greatest ghost stories and the synopsis is just a line. ' It contains the world's ghost stories.' I can still remember how he used to make fun of me.

I really salute him! That's what makes my high school life so colorful I guess. It's the friends that we made that make each day bearable.

Anyway, I just want to share this :)

The Invisible barrier

I am a crybaby, especially when I am still a baby. I don't let anyone other than my parents to touch me. Touch me, and I'll cry for sure. That's why I am always defined as not cute to my aunts. One, because I am tanned (yes, even as a baby) and I have small tiny eyes( well, someone defines it as Korean eyes). Secondly, I cry a lot. Yes, A LOT!

Even as a kid, I am often an outsider when all my cousins played games. Those are the days when computers are still not 'the thing'. I still remembered hide and seek is one of our favorite, next to disco ( well, we basically off the lights and start using torchlight to shine the whole room while blasting our eardrums with loud music). Yet, I am always out of those games because when my cousins make fun of me( I am a dinosaur because back then, I am quite chubby.. ehem fat and still very tanned), I'll cry. So, they tend not to count me in, save them a lot of troubles, I guess.

However, when I think back, this is actually a reflection of me deep inside. There's always an invisible barrier between me and all the people who knows me. Although I am very close with someone, I don't open up completely to them. Reason is simple, I don't want to get hurt. If I open up myself to that person, there's always a probability that the person might betray you( I am sorry if I hurt any of you, but this is what I think). It's not about trust. Even if I really do trust you, it takes a lot of time for me to actually start to open my heart. So, if that person can do it, then well done. But for 19 years, the only person that I've ever open up to is my mum. It takes a very long time for someone to gain my trust completely, so if you feel it's worth it, then I'm glad.

There are just some things I would keep to myself for that special someone. Well, that would make that someone special right? If you tell all the things to everyone, then that person would just be one of those people isn't it? Anyway, I am weird so my thoughts are a bit cuckoo.

Well, that's just me :)

Sweet 19

Since I've graduated from high school, birthdays seems to me like just another day. No, it's not like I am making a big fuss over it or I feel sad or anything, but really, to me it's just like any other day.

If you've read my post last year on 2nd of July you'll know what I am talking about. There's no longer princess of the day thing because I am too old for that. Celebration is just mere cakes and good meals which I really do enjoy =). But anyway, turning 19 means I have to be more mature and so, I don't really make a big fuss over it anymore!

Well, I've got tonnes of wishes from my friends and family so to me, it's good enough and I am very touched! It means a whole lot to me! Some stay up late just to wish me when the clock strike midnight on my birthday (erhem.. sheldon, have I answer your question then?:P) Others via message and FACEBOOK!

Thanks to: ( Here goes my long list) Chi Han, Kar Ming, Kenny, Ze Ying, Krishna, Shin Yek, Deena, Synrol, Chong Chin Tong, Kaiye my girlfriend~, Tian Feng, Opie, Jim, Diba, Pei Ying, Jo Ann, Dom, Shahrul, Nan, Adrian, Amy, Shar Linn, Zhen Fung, Siti, Kee, Jin Yong, Ili, Jessey, Gregory, Louis, Emily, Pei Xian, Kee Hung, Ben, Amirah, Sheldon, Pn. Halijah, Jasmine, Ganesh, Vi Leng, Shifa, Sally, Ting Wei, Wei Nanx, Shu Yi, Saktish, Eng Chung, Errol, Caili, Yi Qing, Hui Peng, Chung Ling, Wen Yi, Jia Le, Anju, Mei Ching, Siew Hong, Gloria, Shawn, Ian, Yin Shi, Sandra, Wai Shan, Jean, Wen Huei, Bryan, Adline, Lip Seng, Jolene, Thong, Pui Leng and Min Shen =)

You guys are the best! Thank you so much!

Of course, thank you daddy and mummy for bringing me to life. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you guys!

Turning 19 means this will be my last year as a teen. Well, it's really time for me to grow up huh. Well, step by step I will grow up eventually so in the mean time, bear with my childishness =) Because I plan to keep some of my childishness when I am growing up!

Perhaps Love?

"If you don't love me anymore, I would cut my wrist/ run away from home/ run over by car/ bang myself on the wall (please select one) now!"

Well, my sister, A has been threaten into this situation lately. When she told me, I looked at her and laughed. "You thought what? Making a movie now is it?? Why does the guy need to be so dramatic?" That's always my reply to her. It's kinda true because according to her, the guy likes to watch Hong Kong-based dramas. I am not surprised when he came out with that few AMAZING lines.

I always feel that my high school life had been rather peaceful and drama free, which is very opposite compared to what my sister had experienced the minute she stepped into my high school. She's very different from me. Always the center of attention, smart, cool and of course, pretty. Me on the other hand, is always seen as a bookworm, and insignificant at school, not that I want the attention though.

So, she attracts all kinds of friends, ranging from bookworms to ah beng or ah lian. That makes her daily life at school way more interesting than mine and the dramas she see, well, pretty dramatic at times. There was once she told me about this particular couple where when one of them wanted a break up, the other cut her wrist and ended up in the hospital. Whoa, seriously the government should start banning dramas! And the reason I did not specify the gender is because, well, both of the are the same gender. Another big WHOA!

Well, that's what makes teenagers teenagers. If they are rational, then they should have been called an adult. I am not in shoes to make fun of them, because I have been through that stage before. Thinking love is something so great and beautiful, and the person I am seeing is "The One". Falling out of it is like a big slap of reality! I've learnt and grew from it and I think I have mature from my past. Of course, I couldn't help but to be cynical about certain stuff because that's the plain truth.

For example, fictional novels love the idea of love at first sight. "When I saw him across the coffee table, reading my favorite book. I knew! This is exactly the man I would spend the rest of my life with!" Reality check please!!! There is absolutely NO WAY that would happen! You may think I am a cynic, but I am just being realistic. It just doesn't happen that way!

The thing about fictional novels and Taiwanese dramas( yes, especially Taiwanese dramas) gave this youngsters a fake image of love. They thought whoa... Love... La La land.. Cotton and candy 24/7... Well, sorry to ruin your fake image but that ain't gonna happen!

Yes, of course it feels like La La land and yes, of course it feels happy. BUT, you need to work for it. It doesn't come and swoosh you away without placing you back where you are and then, you realize that you need to put in effort to make things possible.

So, advice for high school kids, it's okay to taste what does it feel like to be in love, well.. Puppy love. Just spare the dying part! Nobody likes the line " Me or death" Okay?

Cheers :)

Turning a new leaf for better

"You should be more optimistic about things! Do you know that if you are so pessimistic you tend to make the things that you fear happen??" This is what I told my friend when she's being so pessimistic about certain things.

However, I am no different. I always looked tough and being all confident about things but deep down, there's a sense of uncertainty. I doubted a few things and it would really affect everything that I have been holding on to ultimately. So, I always tell myself that I am one independent being and shouldn't be attach to things. I dislike clingy people so I shouldn't act like one!

I trust myself and others. So, if anything happens, I have no regrets because it's my own decision that I had made. I should maintain my happy-go-lucky self then!!

Cheers :)

P.S: I am confident enough to say that I am not afraid of what will happen in the future! I think I can conquer it!

Closing the chapter of my life at KY

Well, it ended.

My ordeal at (survival difficulty: extreme) jungle had officially ended. As much as I hate to admit it, I wish I would be able to go back there with my friends.

I went back to college on Thursday by the mean of Commuter. Well, it wasn't the best way I would say. I pushed off at 2.30pm, ending up in Tg. Malim at 5.50pm!!! End of semester dinner was held that very night. The food wasn't extraordinarily tasty but I had a great deal of fun! The next day was our full dress rehearsal for the big thing= Awards Day.

Somehow, those 2 days just flew right away. And here I am, sitting at home.

Gosh! I can't believe it. I can still remember the very first day I came to KY. I was lost, homesick and wished I had never chosen to do A levels. Now, I felt the complete opposite. I made friends, learnt to be independent and etc. So yeah, this is the best decision I made so far.

Well, good things gotta end for us to appreciate it. I closed a fruitful chapter in my life and now waiting to open another. My mum told me don't be so nostalgic because I will end up with a lot of baggages. But!!! I don't think those are baggages. They are all good and wonderful memories that I want to keep forever!

First Prom( Erhem, External Dinner to be exact)

"100 bucks, you know?? So expensive! I don't think it's worth it for a night at KL!" This is what I said when someone asked me whether I am going to prom, well more correctly, external dinner for seniors.

I planned to skip prom since the very beginning because, firstly it is so expensive! Plus, nobody is going anyway. And thirdly, my parents are at overseas that time. I once told my friends if I am able to go to prom, then I am sure miracles do happen in real life. However, unexpected things always happens to me.

Suddenly, everyone wanted to go and so I decided if I can pursue my mum to let me, then fine, I'll go. Back then, I thought my mum wouldn't say yes but!! She said it is up to me. So, I ended up signing up before I have a second thought.

The night was a memorable one for me. It was my first ever prom and a good one as well. Those who were there should figure that out themselves and I am sure everyone enjoyed it as much as I did. The food was okay and it was quite entertaining. Now, I feel that's the best 100 bucks I had ever spent, well excluding good food I guess.

I danced for the very first time, well with someone ( you know what I mean). It was quite awkward but I enjoyed it. Got to spend time with my friends and well.... Okay, this is getting embarrassing.... Anyway, I had a wonderful time and I am sure I am not the only one who thinks so!! =D

Mistake? don't think so

A levels had ended, which means that's the end of my life at KYUEM. Well, if I was still the same person back during the start of this semester, I will be very happy and saying 'thank god it ended!! Finally I can go back to my comfort zone!'

However, I wish it would not end now. Not when I just started to enjoy my time there. I always thought that coming to KY is a bad choice that I had made, but not anymore. Because I went there, I learnt how to be independent, learnt how to socialize with people, adapt to my surrounding and meeting 'you'.

So, I really gonna miss that place.. Things that I would miss:

1. Wednesday Western dinner

2. Weekend sport and computer games

3. Tuesday and Thursday vegetarian night :)

4. Ramlee's burger

5. RC time

6. Heart stabbing by FY

7. After dinner chat:)

8. Talking with friends.. Mostly gossip, I guess

9. FRIENDS!!!!!!

10. erhem.. you guys should know (wink)

11. ONG KAI YE!!!! Most beautiful girl in KY, Happy now?? :) LOL

Well, coming to KY is not a mistake, NOT AT ALL. And I'll never forget my days in this college because although everyday we did the same thing over and over again, each day is memorable.

Anyway, I still have prom and graduation to attend, so I'm going back there..

Unexpected turnout and exam!

I had always hated the month of May. However, I'll say this month is the best that I had.

13 days before A level finish and I'll be back home. So far, exams had been getting pretty hectic and pimples start to show up on my cheek!!! It's a big deal for me because I don't usually get acne near my cheek!!! OMG!!!

Anyway, that's a proof that I am still a teen and growing, I guess :P

I always had been very realistic and logical however I've been out of the zone for this few weeks. It's not a bad thing though. Well, just go with the flow I guess. Hmm... That's the update...

Your Presence

Slowly, you crept into my thought. I had never thought of you that way, nor had I noticed that you are there all the time. There are times where I really want to let you know, however I didn't dare to take a step further because it might ruin everything that we had until now.

I always had this thing for eccentric people, you are one of these people. Seeing you around makes me happy and sad at the same time. I am scared to look into your eyes, fearing that you might know how I feel about you.

I like your smile, because it's like a ball of sunshine.

I like the way you talk and crack jokes, because I know you are trying to humor all of us.

I like the way you look at me, because it shows that you are serious.

Yet, it is very tormenting for me because I feel like telling you but I can't make myself to do it. So, I hope you would know.

(BY THE WAY, THIS IS NOT WHAT HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE)

April

It's already April. Gosh! Time sure flies huh..

Anyway, it's been a long time since I updated my blog. So a re-cap of April and March.

Trial had just finished, and I doubted that I did well since I am not-very-prepared!! Anyway, it's an opportunity for me to brush up anything that I need to work on.

Heat wave is still all around me, making each day hard to live because it is so hot!!!!

The main thing is that, I found out about something recently. It's quite personal so I won't talk about it much. Let just say that I found its presence after more than 2 years. However, there's nothing I can do about it. Hmm...

Daddy's birthday is around the corner. So, Happy birthday, daddy! I love you and sorry for being so troublesome to you and mummy all the time! I will grow up!

Well, that's all I think. LOL

Mummy's Love

I had written a post dedicated to my dad and my sister. So, it's my mummy now.

I think the one who know me quite well will know that I am very close to my mum. We are more like sisters and best friends rather than mother and daughter. Believe it or not, we are not that close before.

This changed when I had my first heart break. Most teenagers would never tell their parents that they started dating and that they are in a relationship. Well, I am the same. I didn't told my mum but my sister did. My mum was unhappy at first, but after getting to know who I am with, she didn't object. (it was a big MISTAKE) Well, after my heartbreak, I was devastated for 2 days, not eating and sleepless. My mum was always there for me, giving me advices that are more of a friend than a mummy's advice, telling me her experience and comforting me the whole time. I was very touched and since then, we became closer and closer. I tell her everything, yes, everything.

Leaving for college, I think she's the one that I missed the most. ALOT is the right word. Everytime she calls, I would end up sobbing because hearing her voice makes me miss her more. The comforting words that she gave me touched my heart and that's why I cried. Well, partially because of that. She loves me no matter what I did, how I behave, how stubborn I am.

That's why I want to say, mummy, I am sorry for being such a big baby. I am sorry that I am self-centered and stubborn. I am sorry that I always make you worry.

I will learn not to do that anymore.

I LOVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS!!! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE

Re-cap of February

It's been a very looooooong time since I wrote my last post, well the simple reason is that connection for wireless is slow here and when I go home, I don't feel like writing anything. Anyway, time to update again!

Next week would be the last week before our semester break start, I had been going home every single weekend since January, this means that I had to stay back this coming long weekend in college 'cause my dad told me that next week I would be going back so stay for this week. *sigh*

Chinese New Year had officially ended last Sunday. It's just a glimpse of an eye, *Poof* that Chinese New Year had come and gone. Well, mine was very short as compared to my other cousins and even my dad's holiday. I only get 2 days off. WOW! Well, although I did complained that it was too short and the college should made it a week off, yet I am lucky that I was able to switch back to the study mood very fast. My cousins and siblings had 1 week off and well, it's harder to switch back, I guess.

Recap of what had happened throughout the whole February, I managed to keep up with the workload of A2, believe me, it was HARD!!! Finally, I got my certificate of academic excellence from my secondary school last Saturday, an opportunity to meet up with my old gang. Everyone looks so mature while I am still the same old self. I got rewarded for my SPM results from Kow Chow Association. One might ponder what is Kow Chow? Well, it's just like Hakka and Hokkien. I am Kow Chow people. LOL

Ok! I think that's about it. Looking forward to next week!!!!! Got my interview for University of Nottingham next friday. Getting my fingers crossed!!!! Oh, by the way, I am going to China during the break! Which means I had to bring along my revision notes.. (OMG)

What is this compared to other people?

It was the second week of me in college and unfortunately to say, I am still homesick. While I am busy thinking about home and indulge in self-pity, something happened in our country.

I called my mum, telling that I am very depressed and I miss her... She is pissed off. Who wouldn't be?? I mean, I am really embarrassed about my behaviour as I am going back this weekend. My mum yelled at me, saying that why am I so concern about myself and not other people. Every word struck me, as they are completely true. She asked me whether have I read the paper this morning and I answered no. She told me to read as there are people and families suffering from more tragic things compared to me.

She was referring to the Dragon Boat Capsize in Georgetown. Students from Chung Ling High School drowned. She told me that she cried reading the news and I should care more about other people and less about myself. I went and search in Internet about the news. When I read it, tears are gushing out like a spoiled water tap. The pictures showing the family members crying about their sons being gone forever made me realise how spoiled I am. Compared the degree of suffering they are going through, mine is nothing.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/1/19/nation/5500220&sec=nation
This link made me cry a lot. It's really dreadful and the loss of someone you love dearly can never be replaced.

Lovesick

Finally,after 7 weeks of break, the time has come for me to pack up and go back to college. Yeah, time flies...

So, it's my last semester in KYUEM and after 2 semester, well I thought that maybe I will adjust really quickly at here. BUT, I WAS WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!! Well,the first day that I came back wasn't so bad as I arrived at the evening. The next day, I felt it.......

I miss my family, my dog and especially mum... Whenever my mum called, I can feel that tears are gushing out of my eyes. It's pathetic and I know that I shouldn't be feeling this but I am emotional.. My mum laughed at me when she called me, saying that I am lovesick. Well, maybe it's true. I am lovesick. I miss them dearly. But, what can I do?? I am here and this week is a short weekend, so there's no way that I can go back. Well, I just have to endure this and it will pass soon, just like the first semester. I think this happens when you are too attached to you family.

New year, new start?

Last year was considered a fruitful year for me. I continued my studies in college, leave home to live in KYUEM for the very first time, experience how torturous examination can really be and I've learnt to be independent.

In a swift, we had to bid 2009 farewell and welcome the year 2010. Yes.. I know, I know.. That means new year resolutions have to be made to ensure that I work towards my goal. For so many years, I am still doubting of which course should I be choosing for my university application. Whether I want to apply for medicine or pharmacy. I AM CLEAR NOW.

Thanks to my mummy and daddy, I know what I want in life, what quality of life am I pursuing. I am going to forget about medicine. YES, I am going to apply for pharmacy. Reason??? Well, after thinking for a while, I finally come to light. I want to pursue my interest after having a career. Interest is..... MUSIC. I noticed that if I am to pursue medicine, then I have to give up my interest because there is no way that I can be treating patients and manage a music school at the same time. So, I've finally decided. Pharmacy it is. (Provided I have the qualification to get myself into this course).

So, I hope that this year will be a fruitful one for all of you. :)