Que Sera Sera

Whatever will be, will be.

For the past decades, I had been worrying about every little tiny details in my life that I don't seem to enjoy/cherish what I had at the moment. Thus, I had lost a lot of potential fun in my life. Worrying about if I can get into uni, if I can get good result, if I can get placements, if I can go home, if I can cure my homesickness, if I can adapt in the UK etc.

Now, when I think back, I could've had more fun and just enjoy the time. I worried too much about something so uncertain and might not even be a problem after all. A classic example would be when I was in my second year, I was dead scared about not being able to adapt in the UK and cried MORE than a litre of tears. Those tears are wasted on that issue, because in the end I adapted very well in the UK that everyone was so surprised and my parents were really proud of me. Thus, when I think back, it felt really ridiculous.

My mum is always very wise. She told me why worry about the future when you don't know what would happen tomorrow? Some people spent their entire life worrying about what is going to happen to them, and an accident took their lives the next day. They would be regretting for sure, why didn't they enjoy the present and leave everything to the future self. That was my turning point. It is useless to be thinking so far ahead while tomorrow itself is uncertain.

That's when I decided to turn a new leaf and be an optimistic person, which I did :) My friends who didn't know me in college all think I'm very tough and independent but I told them I was once very pessimistic about life and all. It's whether you want to wallow in that cycle of pessimism or turn to optimism. There are still times where I feel down and all, but at the end of the day, I will tell myself que sera sera. Let the future stays in the future and focus on the present. There will bound to be opportunities out there, waiting for me to grab it. Therefore, why worry about something that you don't even have any idea at all? Make sure I get the requirements to meet those opportunity should be my only goal for the time being.

And in the meantime, enjoy what I have in front of me at the moment and let the future be decided by the future me.