Throughout all these years, friends are really something that I care about deeply. If my best friend is not happy, then I won't be. If my best friend is happy, then I will be the same. Plus, I am a person who is afraid of being alone. That's why to me, friend is important.
Now, I have found out something. How lucky I was back then to have a friend to lean on, a friend to share my joy and sorrow, and will respect me in all ways. As much as I hate to say this, I have been hanging out with the wrong person right from the very beginning. This "friend" of mine is getting bored of me and switching to new people now. Maybe to him/her, I am just another person crossing his/her life and nothing more. But, he/she does not know how much pain that had cost me. I treat them wholeheartedly, hoping that they would do the same to me. BUT NO! I've been through this before, and I ended up switching school. I ran away last time and I ain't gonna do it anymore. I am sick of being so dependent on that particular one person. That's why I am changing now. I am going to start hanging out with different types of people. Making friends, for me it's very hard but I am sure I can do it!
Thinking about it now, maybe that's why they are bored of me. I am too dependent. I should stop my childish behaviour and start being mature and have fun. I am sure that I can do it. Worse come to worse, I only have 9 more months here. So it's going to be ok. I have to reassure myself that I am going to be ok. There's nothing wrong being single and alone anyway, we are born alone in this world and one day we are going to die alone. That's why I don't understand why people are so afraid being alone, including myself. *sigh*
I can do it.. I can do it.. I can do it...
